18-18-1

i hate you,

adiksayo_1818...

but can i let you go?

:'(

eklips

habang tinatakluban ng anino ng bagong buwan

ang sikat at liwanag ng musmos na umaga

mistulang lumuluha sa tuwa ang mga diyosa’t diwata

yumayakap sa hangin ang tamis ng pag-ibig

tunog ng daang-libong tibok ng pusong nahuhulog mula sa langit

larawan ang buong mundo ng hinahon at payapa

at parang huminto ang oras nang mahigit pa sa kisapmata

hindi ipagpapalit at wala nang babaguhin

bukod sa hiwaga ng sandaling ito’y ikaw sana ay kapiling.

- hango kay toiluna

Katotohanan

Nais kong magsusulat ng katotohanan ngunit di ko magawa. Sa tuwing susubukan, hindi ko masisimulan. Dahil magsisimula na namang hiwain ang aking dibdib. At wala na akong magawa kundi humagulgol sa iyak.

Totoo naman ang sinasabi nila. Ang katotohanan ay magbigay sa iyo ng katatagan. Ito ay magpapalaya sa iyo sa mga bagay na hindi ka mapakali. Sinubukan kong paniwalaan iyon. Sinubukan kong harapin at tanungin siya, hihingin ang katotohanan. Hindi ako nabigo, sinabi siya sa akin. Ang hindi ko maintindihan, bakit parang may kung anong sakit sa aking dibdib. Akala ko ba mapapalaya ako, akala ko mawawala ang hinala ko. Pero bakit naging malubha ang aking kalagayan. Sumasakit ang aking dibdib, mas lalo akong hindi mapakali, hindi makatulog. Sa bawat araw na lang, bawat oras, bawat minuto at segundo, ang katotohanan ang laman sa aking isip. Kasama na doon ang mga tanong. Bakit niya nagawa iyon? Paano niya ginawa sa akin ito? Bakit pinili niya akong saktan?

Nakakainis naman, ganoon ba talaga iyon. May mga bagay na gusto mong tanungin, mga katanungang gusto mong magkaroon ng sagot. Ngunit ng makukuha mo na ang mga sagot, hindi mo pala kayang matanggap ito. Lalong - lalo na pag ito ay totoo.

Kailan kaya maghilom ang mga sugat na ito. Kailan kaya ako maka-ahun sa sakit na dulot ng katotohanan. Lahat nawala na sa akin. Ako'y walang-wala na. Paet at kirot ang nasa akin ngayon.

Kailan ko ba isusulat ang katotohan? Siguro pagdating ng panahon na handa ko nang harapin ito. :'(

We Got It All

With the recent victory of Miss Megan Lynne Young in Miss World 2013 beauty pageant, the Philippines is now considered as the powerhouse of beauties having captured almost all the major international beauty pageant title. 

In 1964, Gemma Teresa "Mimi" Guerrero Cruz, the Filipina who represented our country to Miss International 1964 earned the very first major title of the Philippines. She was crowned at the Long Beach, California, USA on August 14, 1964. She bested 39 beauties from around the world. Her runners - up were Miss USA, Miss Brazil, Miss England and Miss Finland. She donated the money she won as Miss International to Manila Boys Town and Girls Home. 

 Miss Cruz after winning as Miss Philippines giving her the 

right to represent our country to Miss International 1964

Miss Gemma Cruz as Miss International 1964

After 18 years of competing, we earned our first Miss Universe title, and our second international title through the witty and beautiful Miss Gloria Maria Aspillera Diaz. She was crowned as Miss Universe 1969 in Miami Beach, Florida, USA besting 60 candidates from different parts of the Universe. Her runners - up include Miss Finland, Miss Australia, Miss Israel and Miss Japan. After her reign she joined the showbiz entertainment in the Philippines.

Miss Gloria Diaz after winning the Miss Universe 1969 title

Crowning moment of Miss Universe 1969

A year after Diaz crowned, another Filipina brought an honor to our country. Miss Aurora McKinney Pijuan was crowned Miss International 1970 in Osaka, Japan on May 16, 1970. A product of Bb. Pilipinas pageant, Pijuan earned the second Miss International crown and the third international pageant crown for the Philippines. She vested 47 beauties from around the world. Her runners - up were Miss Argentina, Miss Australia, Miss Japan and Miss New Zealand. She continued her charitable projects after her reign as Miss International. She is an active member of Gawad Kalinga movement here in the Philippines.

Miss Aurora Pijuan and her runners-up

Pijuan, still beautiful until today.

Besting 60 universal beauties, Maria Margarita "Margie" Roxas Moran, grabbed the second Miss Universe title for the Philippines when she was crowned as Miss Universe 1973. Margie was the fourth Filipina to win an international title. She was crowned in Athens, Greece on July 21, 1973. Her runners - up were Miss USA, Miss Norway, Miss Spain and Miss Israel. She was also awarded as Miss Photogenic. She became a businesswoman after she reigned as Miss Universe 1973. 

Miss Margie Moran in Miss Universe 1973

Miss Margie Moran with her runners-up

Three months after Moran was crowned, Miss Evangeline Pascual almost bagged the first Miss World 1973 crown. She lost the title to Miss USA, Marjorie Wallace.  The Miss World organization had fired Wallace in March, 1974, for "failing to complete the basic requirements of the job". She was never officially replaced by any of her runners-up since Evangeline Pascual refused to take over.

Miss World 1973 winners

1974 made the Filipino pageant fans grew wilder as the Miss Universe 1974 took place in Manila Philippines. Miss Spain, Amparo Muñoz was crowned Miss Universe 1974 in Folks Art Theater, Manila, Philippines on the early morning of July 21, 1974. Miss Philippines, Guadalupe Sanchez finished as one of the Top 12 finalist.

Miss Universe 1974, Amparo Muñoz

Miss Universe 1974 and her court

Miss Universe 1974 top 12 finalist

Miss Universe 1974 candidates wearing the Filipino terno

The Philippines were consistently placed as semi-finalist or runner-up in the succeeding, but never won again, until in 1979, the beautiful, "long-legged" Miss Mimilanie Laurel Marquez was crowned Miss International 1979 in Tokyo, Japan on November 12, 1979. Despite being 15 years old that time, she bested 42 international beauty from around the world. Trailing behind here were Misses USA, Austria, Finland and Japan. Marquez pursued a modeling career and joined the local show business. 

Miss International 1974, Melanie Marquez and her court 

Beauty like no other, Miss Melanie Marquez

It took 25 years for the Philippines to  get another international title again. Precious Lara Quigaman, is the fourth Filipina to capture a Miss International crown, and sixth over-all. She was crown as Miss International 2005 in Tokyo, Japan.  She bested 51 international beauties. Her runners - up were Misses Dominican Republic and Finland. After her reign, Quigaman proceeded to work as a model and an actress in the Philippines.

Miss Earth is a beauty pageant launched in the year 2001 that aims to select the best woman in the world to work in an environmental cause. But it was only in 2008 that a Filipina grabbed the title, in the person of Karla Paula Henry 

to be continued...

Megan Young is Miss World 2013

After 60 years of trying, Philippines has finally won a Miss World crown. And it's all because of the beautiful Megan Lynne Young.

The actress turned beauty queen has been crowned Miss World 2013 hours ago. I was very positive that Megan is what we need to compete in Miss World to win the most elusive title. Since she screened for Miss World Philippines in SM MOA, I already knew  that she will be Miss World, and I was not wrong. 

 Doing well during the Opening Number

Megan became an early favorite to win Miss World 2013 since she was crowned as Miss World - Philippines 2013. With her mix Filipino - American beauty, she is without a doubt a strong contender for the crown. Top international pageant sites, globalbeauties.com and missosology.org, put her on top of their favorite list. And she proved them that she's worthy for such recognition when she won the Top Model Special award, fourth in Multimedia and fifth in Beach Fashion. With that, she instantly climbed on top of the Miss World scoreboard, making her number on among the top ten.

The Dances of the World is a special segment of Miss World that show cases the beautiful cultures of the world. Megan was chosen to present her dance, the Singkil dance from Mindanao. Megan was so beautiful while she was doing her routine.

 The beautiful Megan doing the Sinkil dance.

After the judges were introduced, the top twenty were revealed based on their scores from the different contests the top ten were announced and they are, Ghana - #10, Jamaica - #9, Spain - #8, Indonesia - #7, England - #6, Nepal - #5, France - #4, Australia - #3, Brazil - #2, and Philippines - #1. The top ten were serenaded by an Indonesian symphony, while the judges scored them to select the top five.

 Brazil and Philippines were head-to-head competition during the top ten

The top five were announced after that, and in random order they are announced as follows: Miss France Marine Lorphelin, Miss Philippines - Megan Lynne Young, Miss Ghana - Naa Okailey Shooter, Miss Brazil - Sancler Frantz, and Miss Spain - Elena Ibarbia. Joining them is the People's Choice, Miss Gibraltar - Maroua Kharbouch. 

After the announcement, the top winners of the Talent round were presented. Then the final interview took place. The semifinalists videos were shown first before they give a speech on why they should be Miss World. Here are their replies:

Miss France: "It will be an honour to become Miss World because it’s a very prestigious title" 

Miss Philippines: "I treasure a core value of humanity and that guides people why they act the way they do. I will use this to show other people how they can understand each other. ... as one, we can help society."

Miss Ghana: "I believe Miss World should be a woman of substance, who is compassionate, if given once in a life time opportunity, I would influence life of young women and make difference to the life of the less privileged."

Miss Brazil: "Miss World is a reflection of a value of a woman. Beauty with a purpose with miss world I would be able to help many people. And i believe beauty opens doors and beauty with a purpose opens minds and hearts."

Miss Spain: "I would like to say to those people in need that I would give my energy and passion to make their life more easier and happier."

Miss Gibraltar: "I believe i should be the net miss world i want to genuinely help people in the world. Beauty from within and kindness that changes people’s lives and kindness in something that a deaf can hear and the blind can see."

Miss World 2012 Wenxia Yu of China took her final walk. She was joined by Miss Australia and Miss Indonesia after that to fulfill her dream, and that is to perform and opera.
The winners were then announced by the Miss World Organizer, Julia Morley, and they are:

2nd Princess is Miss Ghana.

1st Princess is Miss France.

And the new Miss World is Miss Philippines, Megan Lynne Young.

MW 2013, Megan Young final message:

 "I would just be myself in everything that I do, to share what I know and to educate people on what they can do to help is what i'll do. Salamat. Salamat talaga sa mga kababayan kong Pilipino"

Congratulations Megan Lynne Young. You made all the Filipinos proud.

Megan Lynne Young - Miss World - Philippines 2013

I am so excited for tomorrow, as the Miss World 2013 final night will take place. Miss Philippines, Miss Megan Lynn Young has a big chance of winning, now that she won the Top Model Special Award...

Since Day 1, Megan has been the favorites among the pageant lovers from any parts of the world, specially from her pageant fanatic country. She is uniquely beautiful, and despite of her petite figure, she always stand out. Besting 127 beauties in Top Model Special is already a feat, and an indicator that she is a top contender of the crown.

While in the local pageant, Megan grabbed 75% of the special and corporate awards, and of course the title and the right to represent the Philippines in Miss World. So when Miss World comes, it's not a surprise that she became one of the instant favorites.

Aside from the Top Model Award, she also placed 4th in Multimedia Special Award and 5th in Beach Fashion Special. Well, that's enough to excite come pageant night tomorrow... Good luck and Congratulations in Advance, Miss Megan Lynne Young, Miss World 2013.

Keep Going

No matter what you do, no matter how many times you screw up and think to yourself “there’s no point to carry on”, no matter how many people tell you that you can’t do it - keep going. Don’t quit.

Don’t quit, because a month from now you will be that much closer to your goal that you are now. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Make today count.

Falling in Love to Valentine

I heard the song already, in recorded, and I'm in love with the song, the melody and the lyrics. But when I watched Olivia New John singing it beside Jim Brickman, it was completely a different experience. Even if I saw it on DVD, I felt I was in the live concert. Olivia sang it with all the emotions and  I feel every lyrics of the song, I was in tears, it made me long for someone that I can say, my Valentine.

You may heard of this one already, but I just post this to remind that this is significant to me. Hope you enjoy this one as I do...

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And shown me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine


And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

Personality and Masks

"We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot 

remove them without removing some of our own skin"

Personality as such is false. The word "personality" has to be understood. It comes from persona; persona means mask. In ancient drama the actors used to wear masks. Those masks were called personae - personae because the sound was coming from behind the mask. Sona means sound. The masks were apparent to the audience and from behind the mask the sound was coming. From that word persona has come the word "personality."

All personality is false. Good personality, bad personality, the personality of a sinner and the personality of a saint - all are false. You can wear a beautiful mask or an ugly mask, it doesn't make a difference.

The real thing is your essence.

Personality is also a necessary part of growth. It is like if you catch hold of a fish in the sea and you throw it on the shore; the fish jumps back into the sea. Now for the first time it will know that it has always lived in the sea; for the first time it will know that, "The sea is my life." Up to now, before it was caught and thrown on the shore, it may not ever have thought of the sea at all; it may have been utterly oblivious of the sea. To know something, first you have to lose it.

To be aware of paradise, first you have to lose it. Unless it is lost and regained you will not understand the beauty of it.

osho

September

And it's the first day of the first month that ends with "-ber". September is here, and Christmas is near... 

Last year I got an early gift. I met and was able to know personally a very special guy. He's a tennis player, and i first saw him when he competed in a provincial meet. I didn't see him play coz I was busy giving support to my tennis players. But he caught my attention coz that time, I was given the idea that he is the player to beat. And when I saw him, I find him good looking. From there, I was hoping I will have the chance to get to know him more. After awhile, our head informed me that I will be their chaperon for the regional meet. And I was in awe, coz it means that I will be with him for the entire regional meet period.

True indeed, we had the chance to bond each other. Get to know each other. And everyday, I fell in love with him. He's such a charming guy, and from them on I prayed. I prayed I can have him with me. I took care of him everyday, trying to give him what he desires, to the best that I can. When it was over, I was sad, I thought it will also be the end of "us". But I was wrong. Our communication were there, we meet a day before christmas in Tanjay. Then we meet again in February, days before his birthday. And during Palaro in April, we met again. We even watched the movie, Iron Man. It was fun, and it was the moment that I was getting myself into him. And I know it will lead to heartache. Even if it's so hard, I started to avoid him. Not returning his calls, not replying his messages, ignoring him completely. Difficult is an understatement, because I had a hard time doing it. But I told myself, this is for me, protecting my heart. Day by day, I was able to do it. And there was a point that he gets tired sending me unreplied messages, calling me unanswered calls, so he stopped. And it was the end. I think he is just an extended 2012 story. But I had a great time. Some good things never last. He is good for me, but can never be mine. And that I'm sure. I miss him though.

Hopefully this year, I will have a more exciting christmas gift story. A story, that will last a lifetime. I know it's big, but who knows. Unexpected happens, and the only thing constant is change. Crossing my fingers!