Essentials of Us

Passion.

 It defines you, me- like the warm splash of color draped on our bed. Your intense fascination for the arts- the way you caress forms and merge colors with light. My edible affair with words- the way I turn languid when prose and poetry lick our thoughts. It makes us scream with abandon, throw caution to reason and defy society’s woeful pretensions.

 Trust

 Like an aftertaste to an intense coupling- it makes us dance like nobody’s watching. It makes me want to run my fingers through your hair while you chomp on fruit loops swimming in milk.

 Honesty

 It sets the rules we have as lovers and friends, as mentors and pupils, as mates and enemies. It makes us good when situations and cold beer overwhelms trust. It makes me happy in the skin of my fear. It makes US more beautiful each time we finish a yelling spree.

 It makes you brave when things are shaken from its edges. It cushions me from monsters who are as familiar as the lines on my palm. I want to taste the sleep from your eyes as the sun naughtily kisses the pillows at our feet.

 Kindness.

 It is a gentle breeze that heals misunderstandings and emotions gone awry. The way you look at me when I throw my opinion on the breakfast table like rainbow confetti. The way I move into your arms and fill that gap.


 Kindness defines a lovers’ siesta break. Kindness is the way you tease my worries away.

 Love.

 Love is what we feel when joy transcends passion and mesmerizes our soul. Love is what makes chocolate taste great. Love is what amazes us when the afternoon turns an ugly shade. Love is what makes us stay when passion, honesty and kindness leave.

 Love means you are me and I am you. Love makes us stay.

 The essentials of us- a beautiful pastiche of you and me. These essentials we birthed, nurture, mock, heal, we let live a little more each day.

Love and Commitment...

The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love. It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are  not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's.

We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. It is false to believe that two lovers love each other to the same degree. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other. But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens.It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him "I love you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him?

The greatest test of true love is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. There can be no doubting this. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love?  Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. A lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one's love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believes strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved.

If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade. In the countless counseling sessions I have had with troubled couples over the years, there has always been the problem of a failing commitment on the part of at least one of the partners. Unless there is the raising of the level of commitment, the relationship is doomed. It's finished. Sooner or later the stress will take their toll and the relationship will begin to fall apart. On the other hand, look carefully at lovers who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.

The Blind Man

I was asking myself these past days if how should I walk my daily life. I was tired of being stranded in the middle of nowhere and I felt hopeless and left behind.

One sunny afternoon, I was walking in the street of my hometown when I met an old man wearing a dirty clothes, with so many backpacks in his back. He was holding a dozen of broken umbrellas and a long stick of wood. And then I realized that he was an umbrella repair man. I remembered I have a broken umbrella so before the rainy season will knock on our barangay, I decided to let him repair it so i can be ready for the rainy days. I never expected that he’s blind because he was wearing a sunglasses. I pity him so much at the same time amazed because he has the capability to repair an umbrella even if he has no sense of sight. It’s amazing!

We chatted a little while he was repairing my umbrella. Because of my curiosity, I asked him if it’s hard repairing an umbrella without the sense of sight and how did he does it. With a humble heart, he just answered me with a smile and said, “ Life is hard. Sometimes we have to go through hardships in life to appreciate what we do have. Being blind doesn’t give me the reason to quit rather it gives me reason to strive harder and thank our God that He still gives me the chance to live my life with my loved-ones. Sometimes, you just have to keep telling yourself that God knows what’s best for you. You don’t always have to like what happens, but you just have to trust. Even if i can’t see, I trust God with everything.. and I do believe in miracle.   ”

I was ashamed of myself because I have so many complaints in my life but look at that blind guy, he has no complaints in life but rather grateful for everything. That day, I realized that I shouldn’t be worried in walking alone and being left behind as long as I never give-up and continue on stepping my journey. I trust God that He has so many plans for me. And no matter how many problems we have in life, those shouldn’t give you reason to quit.  When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, you better give life a thousand reasons to smile.  -  In Advice about Life, AUTHOR's ADVENTURE, Random, Reflection on June 21, 2012 at 3:32 am

Robert - An old friend from an old life

when i left the office for the last time that day, i was prepared never to see you again. all i wanted was to confess how i really felt (something i've never done in my entire life), and then i could leave you in peace. i knew you were in love with her, so i resolved to give way to your happiness. i thought i was doing the right thing.

now you call, and i find out he hurt you. the nerve of that bitch, how dare she disrespect you like that! she deserves to rot in jail for violating you. right now i feel like ramming my hands down her throat, taking out her guts and skinning her alive. bastard.

i'm sorry. if only i knew... i thought being with her would make you happy. even now you're still in love with her. hearing you say this really irritates me. yet, on a certain level, i do understand... and that irritates me more. you try to pacify me by sounding like what she did to you was no big deal. do you think for a second that i believe you? try as you may, you can't hide the disappointment you feel between the lines, nor the sadness between the smiles. the only thing that calms me down is that you have your mind over your heart, prepared to lose her. now that's the man i fell for.

i'm thankful you haven't changed since we've parted ways. i know i haven't been a very good friend to you lately. i'm aware that i'm not nearly as thoughtful as i used to be. i don't call or write to you anymore, yes. but then you must understand, i had to try and get you off my mind. for my own sake.

you said you wanted to see me. and i admit, i also have the urge to see you. more so after this. i do miss you. as a friend? as something more? i don't know. i didn't want to dwell on the feeling. i see no need to complicate matters. i just want to be there for you, because one thing i do know is that in the past, your mere presence gave me comfort. now, let it be the other way. i owe you that much.

so here, take my hand. hold on tight, little one. hold tight.

Desiderata

I finally got hold of this masterpiece of Max Ehrmann, You might have read this already, but I think its worth read, over and over again...:)

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s

Dark Willow's Lament

how many times are we permitted to live?
is it but once? oh, but such miracle then
that the rivers have dried and the rain
had ceased to fall yet i - understand, i!
why then do i continue to exist?

i do not wish to stay in a game
where the field has become barren
rid me of this detestable miracle!
let the world shatter into pieces!
let it know of the agony inside!

how sweeter it is for everything to stop
none of the pain, none of the confussion
all will know of the elusive peace
and is that not a formidable reason?
is that not, after all, the logical conclusion?

how many times are we capable of love?
is it infinite? is it a bounty as rich as the
sands of the earth? perhaps. i have seen it
a million times, but only once did i find
and felt its purest, truest form

once! and lost, how do i get it back again?
oh, to say that i was not a good keeper
to let it stray - sir, bite your tongue!
do not let them fool you, gentlemen
the angels are scheming thieves!

yes, thieves! jealous, lonely, bitter thieves
how dare they take her away, so young
so young and full of promise, the lass!
a million red roses could never hope to compare -
and then a click... there... she's gone, forever...

once, there was life... and once, there was love
once, there was bliss... and once, there was laughter
once, there was magic... and once, there was passion
once, there was hope... and once, there was chance
once, there was i... and once... once, there was you

- Author Unknown

A Cup of Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some
expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

“If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.“

God brews the coffee, not the cups………. Enjoy your coffee!

“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Author unknown

Jared - Yesterday in Silliman U.

sometimes, hearts can be stubborn. you don't want to fall yet you do. you don't want to cry but you break. you don't want to change but you will.

we were both college freshmen then, trying to find our niche in the jungles of the university. i felt very lucky to have found such a good friend like him so soon - someone i could count on, thoughtful and reassuring. like that night at the freshman party, when i told him about how high school was for me. i guess he sensed my sadness. he looked at me and told me not to worry, because now i can begin to forget the past. this was college, where i have a new life with new friends. and most of all, i had him. at that moment, in his arms, i never felt more secure and protected.

he was the perfect gentleman, always looking out for me. the little things were the nicest. there was one time when i wasn't feeling well, all the others went ahead to go home after class but not him. he stayed behind for hours just to look after me. he was my official bodyguard. not that i couldn't take care of myself, but he insisted on being there all the time. like that incident when we were caught in the rain very late in the evening. he had fever then but he was still adamant that he hold an umbrella for me. i refused his offer, of course, it was too much. he ought to think of himself, too. but when i looked back, he was there behind me, dripping in the rain, umbrella at his side, pouting like a kid.

this guy was really sensitive.

too sensitive, perhaps. a lot of times, we would be joking around and suddenly he'd be quiet. he'd avoid me and not talk to me for days, which used to make me go crazy! i just wished he'd tell me what was wrong right away. too bad that wasn't his style. i remember an afternoon right before our exam in Philosophy. he had been avoiding me for weeks, so i was surprised when he came and sat by my side. i closed my book and looked up at him.

"may problema ka ba?" he asked gently.

this time, i chose to be honest. "ikaw."

he smiled a little and looked down. apparently he noticed our silent war was taking its toll on me. we talked things over and everything was back to normal. but not for long.

the thing was, he began to fall for me - a situation we tried to avoid from the start. it was foolishness and he knew it. there was already a girl in his life and i had absolutely no intention of coming between them. but as much as we tried to prevent things from getting out of hand, they eventually did. i liked him, too - that much i will say. i knew these kinds of complications would threaten our friendship, and i didn't want to lose him that way. it wasn't worth it.

but all that is wishful thinking. i cannot even describe it as it now seems like a blur. things happened. we started having to avoiding each other for a whirlwind of reasons. he hurt me, and i guess i hurt him. it was painful and awkward, seeing him but having to pretend he wasn't there. sometimes, we'd try to get the friendship back but it just wouldn't last. the strain was undeniable. one day, without so much ceremony, without ever saying a proper goodbye, we parted ways for good.

five years later, here we are.

last night, i bumped into him unexpectedly on my way to a gathering. when he saw me, his face lit up and he quickly went over. to be able to see each other after so long was precious. he was the boy i once knew all over again, a restrained happiness in his smiling eyes.

"congratulations!" i extended a hand in greeting.

he was a bit surprised. "how did you know?"

i gave him a wink. "i heard about the baby. is your wife with you?"

he shook his head. "i just came from work. what a coincidence to see you! how have you been?"

just like that...

two old friends meeting together - older, wiser, hopefully more mature. one of these days, we'll probably sit down and talk over coffee. i've always dreamt of that moment. we'd reminisce, and just laugh at ourselves for all the silly things, all the petty arguments. no more hurting. no more bitterness. just charge everything to experience. and after so many years, we'll be able to have closure. finally.

yes, hearts can be stubborn... but they can also learn.

The Beauty of a Woman

With Ma'am Sun and Ma'am Nida, few of the beautiful women I know...

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, 

the figure that she carries, 

or the way she combs her hair. 

The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, 

because that is the doorway to her heart, 

the place where love resides. 

True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. 

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, 

the passion that she shows. 

And the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.

- From the brilliance of Audrey Hepburn, 

a true beauty inside and out...

The Last Bow

Stage lights are on. You’re in center stage. Your audience watch you perform act after act, scene after scene. Your story becomes their story. Then they become part of it; you a part of theirs. But this story has a different ending.

For a moment everything stops, all eyes are on you. You enjoy the spotlight for the last time as the play comes to an end. The audience gives you a standing ovation as you take a bow. They rave about you.

The curtains fall. The lights go out. The smile falls from your face. You stand still on that big stage, alone. Then reality bites. You don’t know what to do next. What role to perform next. Which theater to perform in. Or if another theater would take you in, for that matter.

Then you hear the crowd scream your name. Once again, with great effort, you put on that smiling face you’ve put on time and time again...so many times even you have convinced yourself it’s yours. The spotlight turns on. The curtains open again. And you take another deep bow. And another. The crowd roars. But you couldn’t hear. All you could think of is what’s going to happen next.

You have no idea. But you’re quite sure that it’s time to take that one last bow. To step off this stage. Erase the make-up. Bid farewell.

Move on.

There are bigger roles to play, grander theaters to perform in, a wider audience to perform for.

And maybe one day you could return to that old theater you once performed in. And there the same old crowd would be waiting to cheer for you as they did before.

Then you would think, with a bittersweet smile, that it was worth the pain, after all. - from Jica