You Never Knew

I stand in front of the sunrise today, filled with awe at the beauty that lies before me. I wish I could have at least an idea of what falls beyond the horizon, just as much as I wish the sea will open up to me and eat me whole. Yet the sea seems to bear a somewhat unexplainable message I couldn’t decode. Something perhaps everybody knows about, something I should have known a long time ago just as much.

I stand here between the sun and the sea, both of which existed since time immemorial. I lay still, nursing my cup of coffee that turned cold, as cold as your heart has become and my pack of cigarettes, as stale as my love for you. The love you never knew existed.

The wind blew right into my face, sending shivers to my spine. It gently flew away my hair that covered the tears that I have unconsciously cried for you. I did not notice how strong the wind has become until I felt it leaving a dry saline line upon my face.

Suddenly, like a dream that has been haunting me in my sleep, I see a familiar event flash right in front of me. I could see myself alone in a room crying till there’s no more tears left to cry, holding on to my pillow that has become my faithful companion in the advent of my trying to put you to oblivion. It has never been easy for me to have always fallen asleep with pillows still soaked with tears as I wake up. Yet, you don’t have the faintest idea of these all, do you? You never knew.

So here I am, escaping from the bondage of you. I am a hundred miles away from the past that I am painstakingly trying to mend. This journey is for the part of me I wish to redeem, for no other reason but to put you all behind me.

These will be the last tears I’ll cry for you. It won’t be easy, I know. But just as the sun that never fails to rise each waking moment of every day and the sea that forever links one landmass to the other, this decision wouldn’t fail me. You will now be just a past worth smiling about as I think of how much I will be capable of loving another, in time. I did love you, you know. To the point of surrender. But then again, you never knew.

You were then my entire universe. Its time you ought to know.