Bittersweet Truth About You

I often ask myself why I'm so into you. But it would just turn out that I haven't got a single clue. 

I start everyday, not with a prayer, but with a vow that I'll avoid you. But I end up avoiding the shadow of my own conscience coz for the nth time now, I failed to evade you. 

You were there when I woke up. You were there when I slept. You were there when I closed my eyes to take a nap on my breaks. You were there when the rain fell on me and got my face all wet. 

Sometimes I blame you for haunting me but I wake up to the truth that there's no one here but me. Then I know I'd be hurting myself once more coz I can't bear a moment without any YOU in my horizon. 

It's such a sweet torment on my part and though the pain is piling in, there's no way I could just walk out. 

Your words come into my head and I couldn't knock even some little sense in it once you begin your attack. One mintue I'm mad at you then after a serene conversation, I realize that you have painted yet another minute smile in my weary visage. 

Another split second passes me by and another batch of cascades escape from my core. It is not an easy task to forgive and then forget you. It never was and never will it be. 

I try to run away from your oblivion and make you believe that I am here– no bigger than an ant– wanting you to feel even just a little emotion, in return for the enormous sentiment I am keeping inside me. Man is indeed a hypocrite when he said that in loving, there is never a need of getting something in return. Because in my case, that is the biggest lie. 

Can you see me? I am here. Eternally feeling for you– falling for you. can you not sympathize to my lowly being and offer me even the littles compassion you can bestow? 

Tonight, I shall end the day with another setting of sun. I shall sleep in a bed of thorns and bleed in the agony of my creation. I shall close my eyes and revere in the mystique of your lair. For tonight, like every other night where I lay to rest my somnolent soul, I shall see your face amidst the dark and succumb to the immortal vision of you and me, breathing one air, under one skyuntil I tirew my heart to satisfaction. 

Come tomorrow, I shall wake up to see a brand new day and start it, not with a prayer, but with a vow that I'll avoid you. And once again, find myself asleep to dream of you.