Missing the Bridge

I just can't stop thinking of you, can't imagine we parted our ways for no reason at all.. Why do i feel loneliness inside me, why do I care so much about you, I can not have feelings for you, I can not love you, But why I'm always thinking of you every minute, every seconds of the day..

I hate this.. I don't wanna live in pretensions, I can no longer hold this feelings..

Bakit ba ganito, bakit ba ako nasasaktan, napagkasunduan naman natin na FRIENDS lang tayo, kahit ganun bakit nag iba ang takbo ng buhay natin, I haven't heard anything from you, you totally forget all about me, I haven't receive any text from you..

I tried not to text you because I want you to miss me like I do, pero wala eh, It's been two weeks pero di pa rin kita nararamdaman, tinuluyan mo na ata akong kalimutan.

Napaka-unfair mo naman kala ko ba kasama kita sa paglakbay ng buhay ko, akala ko ba na you're always there for me, nasan na yong mga pangako mo?

I remember when you told me "Always remeber that I love you so much" gagohan ba to?

Hindi ko naman hiningi sau na maging tayo kasi alam naman natin di tayo pwede, kala ko we can be good friends, pero nasaan ka? nandyan ka nga pero di naman kita maramdaman, binaliwala mo ako.. I wish I could tell you na nasasaktan ako, gusto ko umiyak pero para saan? Gusto ko sabihin sayo na nasasaktan ako pero di ko masabi.

Sana dumating ang araw na ikaw naman ang maghabol sa akin, maramdaman mo kung gano kasakit pag binaliwala ka, sana makita kitang umiyak dahil sa akin..

On Letting Go

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. 
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I don't control another. 
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. 
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. 
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself. 
To let go is not to care for, but to care about. 
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. 
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. 
To let go is not be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes. 
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality. 
To let go is not to deny but to accept. 
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment. 
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be. 
To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future. 
To let go is to fear less and love more.

Promise to Self

that i will follow my heart
even when it doesn't make sense
that i will stop
when the run is done
that i will be soft
when the situation needs it
that i will be tough
when i need to fight
that i will dance or sing
when i feel like it
that i will love
even when it may become painful
that i will share myself
when someone wants to know me
that i will let go
when leaving is necessary

cos you came

funny
that things changed
because
you came along

days
almost unbearable
became
days anticipated

balm
to a frazzled heart
beaten
by a harsh life

dark
lenses to see
replaced
with rosy ones

arms
wrapped around
home
to me

Bye

Sitting here, sorting out my thoughts. I don’t know where to begin. Because I don’t which point is the start.

I have looked at you from afar for a long time. I wondered on and off, through the years, how would it be like to be with you.

There was a time I had a chance to find out but you didn’t even look at me. But you chose my friend, so it was alright with me.

I watched you together, heard stories through her. I have lived at your periphery. And I thought, it’s a good life with you.

Then another chance came. My friend, she left you. And since she knows how I feel about you, and that I have always wondered, she asked me if I’m interested. What to say but yes.

After all, I was at the point in my life I had to make changes. How could I say no to doing that and being with you?

My circumstances were unusual, though. I knew it would be temporary. I have decided on that when we spoke. And it’s also, in effect, what you have offered.

So now we’re together. But my heart, though it feels rooted with you, sometimes, already longs to flee. What I dreamt I would feel with you, didn’t materialize.

And I wonder if I feel this way because I knew this would be short-lived. Did I hold myself back? Or you were just short of my dreams of you? I feel like an outsider. Like I'm in on it but not.

It’s a month today. And I already have one foot out the door. Let’s give it another month or so, shall we? Then I will decide if I will walk away then or 3 more months after. That is, if you don’t decide you want me out sooner.

May I start by saying goodbye now, Fully Booked? It was okay, but my other dream means more to me.

Now That You're Gone

If only you could stayed a little longer
If I had known this feeling then I could´ve been much stronger
And the hurt I feel right now would be so far away
Now all the memories tell me I should´ve made you stay

You said we´ll make it last forever
Maybe you could´ve been a little stronger too
Now I know that sometimes promises just fade away
I need you here beside me, it´s just no good to feel this way

Now that you´re gone
I wish you never had to go
Now that you´re gone
This pain I feel inside me just goes on and on
Now I know I need you
And I never should have let you go

I never should have let you go

In love...

It's not that i believe everything happens for a reason. Its just that, I just think some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is.

+The truth about forever.

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Have you ever thought what your life would be like if you didn't have someone? A best friend? Who would you tell your secrets to? A boyfriend? Who could amaze you more? Siblings? Who else would you spend endless hours fighting with? Your teachers? Who else would teach you? Never take anything for granted ; never regret anything that once made you smile. So next time you say you wish you never met them, think again...

_________________________________________________________________________

Sometimes, I just sit there and think about stupid stuff ; and everything somehow links to you...

_________________________________________________________________________

When you think you've lost it all and the words are harder than the fall, that's when you find yourself and you realize you've gotta do whats best for you...

 

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If you & I were a love story. I don't want it to be a Jack and Rose love. Or a Romeo and Juliet. I want a Noah and Ally love. No matter what happens ; no matter how much you say you hate each other, you make up. There's always going to be that one person you'll never give up on. And they never said it would be easy ; They just promised it would be worth it.

I never feared the unexpected...

OF FINDING AND REVIVING LOVE

“No hateful words were ever spoken, and no hands raised. More than that, no angry words were ever spoken, and nothing was denied. But more than that, no unloving words were ever spoken, and everything was held up as another piece of proof that it can be this way, it doesn’t have to be that way; if there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and we will furnish it with soft red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweler’s felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn’t exist, and I have tried everything that does.” — Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer 

“When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.” —Frederick Buechner


It’s the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder. What if for some reason things don’t work out? How are you possibly going to live without them? Someone that was once a stranger now is the only person you know like the back of your hand. Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart. Someone you used to never hangout with, now owns most of your time. Someone that you thought you’d never love, owns your entire heart. Someone you once lived without, you now wish to hold on forever. - by waveofeuphoria

“I fall in love with strangers all the time. On the bus, with the boy sitting across from me with the crinkled smile, with the shop assistant with the green eyes, with the boy in tight jeans who walks past me on the street, but who doesn’t look back. It must be strange to be so untouched that the slightest brush of a strangers hand on yours can send electricity right through you, but I have never known different. Sometimes I watch people walking in front of me and ache to take their hand, to see if they would recoil or if they would accept my palm against theirs.” — via shutupmerlin

“When I see you, the world stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There’s nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The world just stops, and it is a beautiful place, and there is only you.” — James Frey

“That’s the problem with us. We’re both stubborn asses and always want to get our way. We both hate to be wrong and love to be right. But that’s the thing about love. No matter what happens, we always come back for each other, one more time.” — The Notebook

Scents and All

First, it was bench. A soft, sweet smell that emanated from the small bottle of spray led to an experience of unusual sorts - the stirrings of mature emotions. Love... well, at that time I thought it as such.

Then there was a light, fruity, and a bit citrus scent. It was a game, nothing serious. I only realized otherwise when I've lost, and allowed him to be smitten by someone else. The thing we had could not possibly last, for ethical reasons kept our feelings at bay. And he shifted into using Davidoff to please her, and to spite me.

Recently, Hugo Boss swept me off my feet. And faded away just as fast as the person wearing it did. I have been weak, and allowed myself to get intoxicated. He was my karma...

No one was supposed to get hurt. We laid out all our cards right from the start - we were out for fun; it was nothing serious, and no commitment was involved. But I broke the rule of all rules, and I fell.

I felt the cold air slamming against  my face, and the dull roar of the wind drowned out a voice warning me of the consequences. I jumped out into nothingness, eyes closed, with a small smile playing upon my lips. I was optimistic that I finally found the one.

It was too late to find out that he never meant to catch me at all.

As the early morning light seeped throught the window, I climbed off the bed, careful not to wake him. Against my instincts I looked back, knowing that I would never again have the luxury of watching him sleep. Sadly, I leaned over and bade goodbye... and tears started to flow as I slowly walked away from the man I love.

Hugo Boss... the scent wafted off as easily as if he was never there. But it has imprinted itself in my head. Until now, my senses perceive the slightest memory of his smell. The smell of that cologne would make my blood rush, and I'd take a second look, only to find out that the one who wears it wasn't him.

At night, when you lie down and catch the faintest smell of Estee Lauder's Beautiful, I want you to smile, and remember the unconditional love I gave. Remember me...

Please.

Fully-Booked

Sitting here, sorting out my thoughts. I don’t know where to begin. Because I don’t which point is the start.

I have looked at you from afar for a long time. I wondered on and off, through the years, how would it be like to be with you.

There was a time I had a chance to find out but you didn’t even look at me. But you chose my friend, so it was alright with me.

I watched you together, heard stories through her. I have lived at your periphery. And I thought, it’s a good life with you.

Then another chance came. My friend, she left you. And since she knows how I feel about you, and that I have always wondered, she asked me if I’m interested. What to say but yes.

After all, I was at the point in my life I had to make changes. How could I say no to doing that and being with you?

My circumstances were unusual, though. I knew it would be temporary. I have decided on that when we spoke. And it’s also, in effect, what you have offered.

So now we’re together. But my heart, though it feels rooted with you, sometimes, already longs to flee. What I dreamt I would feel with you, didn’t materialize.

And I wonder if I feel this way because I knew this would be short-lived. Did I hold myself back? Or you were just short of my dreams of you? I feel like an outsider. Like I'm in on it but not.

It’s a month today. And I already have one foot out the door. Let’s give it another month or so, shall we? Then I will decide if I will walk away then or 3 more months after. That is, if you don’t decide you want me out sooner.

May I start by saying goodbye now, Fully Booked? It was okay, but my other dream means more to me

The One...

I’ve met a guy who’s not scared to laugh at me and call me a loser when I do something dumb. A guy that will run up behind me and cover my eyes and ask me to guess who he is, even though it’s obvious. A guy who hides behind a corner and jumps out to scare me, so he’d have a reason to hold me. A guy that leaves me numerous voice mails, just cause. a guy that’d call to wake me up in the morning, because he wants to be the first voice I hear each day. A guy that would never let go of my hand. A guy that would look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me and mean it. Yeah, that guy. I think I found the guy I’m suppose to give my whole heart to.

An Afterthought

You didn't invite me to be your friend but I came to be. You never meant for me to fall head-over-heels in-love with you but hell, I did. You didn't know that you are now my axis and orbit, where my world and life spins and revolves, but you don't want to believe. You've shackled my heart in yours, chained my soul and locked my mind to just a single thought that is you.

"Every time I lay my head in my pillow every night, I can't help hearing my head shout for your name...can't help feeling my skin yearn to feel your warmth...can't help have my lips long for your kisses and my shivering body long for your embrace...and can't help my heart skip a beat for you completes it when my chest beats in tune with yours each time you're with me. For you're the one I want to go to bed with...and wake up in bed with,,,and do everything in between with..."

Now what's the point? Of running, when all roads lead me back to you...of forgetting, when all I do is remembering you by and when everything seems to remind me of you....of fighting it all when loving you is inevitable.

Now that you've known, tell me: may I be able to live, and love the same way again...if it will not be YOU?

Kinds of Love

          I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting."  What an extraordinary thought.  Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. 

          I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night.

          And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms. (Iris - The Holiday)

Don't Wait for the Right; Go and Find Them

It is already almost the month of March and that means Valentine’s Day is over. Did you have a wonderful time with your love one or are you one of those men or women who stayed at home and watched TV or just stayed up late in front facebook or twitter? If you are one of them, well there are two words or tips I share to my single friends and those words are move and explore. You need to be friendly and start communicating to a lot of people whether it is offline or online. You need people to notice you. Waiting for the right guy or gal to find you and love you will never going to work anymore like they always say. Imagine you are inside a box without a hole. How can they find you if you are not going to show them your beauty, your talents, your skills and your personality if you are hiding and scared?

So how are you going to mingle with people and explore? Well for offline; go to colleague’s and friend’s parties or any events. You will never know who you might meet and you will never know if there are opportunities for you both in career and love life. Well for online there are countless ways on how can you move and explore. First, there are social networks like Twitter and Facebook. I know a lot of people ending up with a partner with these social network giants. Second, there are online dating sites where you could find other single person just like you searching for a partner. Third, just find them, and interact and in the internet, there are countless possibilities.
Just remember, be yourself and be confident about yourself. Impression always last so make it an impression at first.

There is No Age in Love

I love you so much.

People say that at my age, I don’t really know what love is. Well, then maybe there’s another explanation for the way I feel about you. How every second I’m away from you seems like an eternity. How every time I try to think of something else, I can only think of one thing, and that’s you. How every time I see you, I smile more and more, and how I’m so happy I could cry. How every time I talk of you to others I want to tell someone how wonderful you are. How the times I’m most happy are when I’m with you and I miss you the most right after I leave your side. Maybe there is another explanation for this uncontrollable feeling inside of me, but right now, I’ll hold the thought that I love you inside my heart forever. ♥

Life is Short

Love is one of the questions we have always attempted to answer in ways more than one. This only shows that it is quite impossible to grasp and comprehend the totality of its being. But we try, don’t we? We try and find out by loving and being loved. We try and find out by getting hurt. We try and find out.

When you enter a relationship, when you commit yourself, you must always bear in mind that you are also sharing a part of yourself to a stranger who by mere chance or destined by fate, you happened to like and love. In doing so, you take a risk, a GREAT RISK.

He is really different. That is why you should not expect him to be like you. This being so, you must learn to accept him in his totality as a person. Growth is brought about by your indifference which in one way or another cultivate the relationship. It is also important to remember that trust is a vital element of many relationships.

UNCONDITIONAL TRUST. No ifs, no buts.

When you love someone, honestly love, then you must be willing to sacrifice. There are times when hurts go so deep, when pain is almost unbearable, when you are about to give up. But loving is not giving up so easily. It is being there when all have gone, when there is very little strength left, when it is too much to stand.

Loving is letting be. There is really no difference between the "as-a-matter-of-fact" way and the romantic way, you might just be in a different plane of understanding which may be the cause of misinterpretations.

If he says he is honest with you, then don’t kill yourself by saying he’s not. How do you know? His past experience is not enough to doubt him. If you can offer your "romantic" way of loving to the best, then do so. And if he can love you the "as-a-matter-of-fact" way in return, then accept it. Please do not measure the exchange. Just be honest with each other and have an open channel of communication constantly where there is a free sharing of ideas. No ifs, no buts.

Get the best out of life. Love and get hurt. Get hurt and learn. Learn and love again. It’s a cycle of being. Life is short. Experience it.

Optimism for 2011

to the start the new year right, what we need is

TO THINK POSITIVE...

LIFE is pretty SIMPLE...

when we are asking for apples and life hands us lemons,
then we should make lemonade...
if we're on your way out and it starts to rain,
at least we won't have to water the plants anymore...

it is a matter of seeing things in perspective...
the benefits may not be immediate nor obvious,
but we have to know this for sure:

GOD will never give us anything we can't handle...
nothing we can't triumph over...

There will be problems...
There will be struggles...
But if they're not there...

how would we know how strong we are?