cold summer nights

it's one of my favorite songs in every ktv sessions that we have... and everytime i sing it, i cant help but pour my emotions and my heart singing the song on top of my lungs...

I keep on blaming my self
I should have eaten my pride
How can I convince you
It’s just a matter of time
Many times I’ve hurt you
With my foolish ways oh boy
Now I know I have to pay the price

Is there a way for you to turn around,
Turn around and come back baby
Ohh baby can’t you see…


It’s been cold summer nights since we drifted apart
Cold summer nights since you walked out that door
Cold summer nights… oh, here on my own
Coz I miss you baby, I need you here

i keep on blaming my self
i should have eaten my pride
how can i convince you
it's just a matter of time
many times i've hurt you
with my foolish ways oh boy
now i know i have to pay the price
is there a way for you to turn around,

turn around and come back baby
ohh baby can't you see...

it' been cold summer nights since we drifted apart
cold summer nights since you walked out that door
cold summer nights... oh, here on my own
coz i miss you baby, i need you here

cold summer nights since we drifted apart
cold summer nights since you walked out that door
cold summer nights... oh, here on my own
coz i miss you baby, i need you here

it's been cold summer nights since we drifted apart
cold summer nights since you walked out that door
cold summer nights... oh, here on my own
coz i miss you baby, i need you here

it's been cold summer nights since we drifted apart
cold summer nights since you walked out that door
cold summer nights... oh, here on my own
coz i miss you baby, i need you here


Baby… baby… ohh

-o-

Now I don't know anymore if I am ready to take him back if he asks me. I don't want to get my heart broken again. I don't want to undergo one hell week again. Bottom line, I'm scared because he has the power to hurt me over and over again

I Am Destined to be Alone and Miserable

I am destined to be alone and miserable.

To stare idly at nothingness; to fantasize about the impossible; to wish for things that can never be achieved; to hope for a love that can never be given.

To sit like a statue in the midst of darkness; to cry and yet not shed a single tear.

To be devoid of emotion; or at least be adept at hiding pain and frustration; to always seem to move on and yet in truth dwell in the past; to forgive but never forget.

To be ruled by fear rejection and yet foolishly try and try again to establish a connection; to fail at it; to try again, and again, and again, and again; and to disappoint myself each time.

To want to love and be loved in return, and find only emptiness and loneliness.

To have people think I’m crazy; and yet know that they just don’t understand; to suffer the indignation of having to notice every bit of ignorance, stupidity, and narrow-mindedness the world possesses and hate it; all the while grappling with the reality that I’m not so perfect myself.

To be fated to be loved only misery, melancholy, melodrama, and self-pity; to love a person who does not seem to exist; to put all my hopes, dreams, ambitions and aspirations on a person who’s probably going to let me down someday.

To bare out my soul this way because there isn’t any other means by which I can express myself; to fill dozens of notebooks with unspoken thoughts; and to read them again and again from time to time just to remind myself how pathetic I am.

To be a dreamer and a realist at the same time; to ask myself questions I know the answers to; to speak to myself for lack of another person to talk to.

To devour romantic movies and relish each kiss, each dance, each song, each and every single piece of dialogue as if it were my own; and to know the whole time that such things will never happen in my life.

To believe in forever and everlasting love, and yet be given the complete opposite every time I do fall in love.

To tell anyone who bothers to listen that I see myself married to her; and then lose her; to say it again about another person; and lose her the same way.

To fail at almost everything I try to do; to be ridiculed at every decision I make; to have people I know make stupid jokes and hurtful comments behind my back.

To always be second best or less; to watch my dreams fade away into nothing; to always have to suck it all up and say “Shit happens.”

To realize that all of this is my fault; that I make myself miserable; that I choose to wallow in self-pity and melodrama; and know that I can do absolutely nothing about it, since it seems that it’s the only thing I can do well.

Yes, I am truly destined to be alone and miserable. - Peyups.com

Journey of Uncertainty

And Hansel said to Gretel, "Let us drop these breadcrumbs so that together we find our way home because losing our way would be the most cruel of things"...


Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate, but losing your reason for the journey is a fate more cruel.

The journey may last for years and months. Sometimes you travel alone; sometimes there are others who will take the wheel. And take your heart. But when the destination is reached, it might you who'll arrive but it might not you at all.

And once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be or lose that person completely.

Because sometimes you have to step outside the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are.

Yes, losing your hearts desire is tragic. But gaining your hearts desire, its all you can hope for. This year I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart, long, afraid to feel. My wish was granted. If having that is tragic, then give me tragedy... - OTH

tonight i will write the saddest lines...

for tonight i will stop thinking of you and stop hoping to see you in my dreams..

for tonight i will convince myself that there could never really be an "us" again..

for tonight i will wish upon the stars not to see you nor have contact with you anymore..

for tonight i have to accept the fact that memories good or bad are just memories and nothing more than that..

for tonight i will face the true meaning of letting go and moving on..

'coz for tonight i will say goodbye to you.. to our friendship.. and to all the things that keeps me from believing that "we" deserve a second chance..

God knows how much i loved you.. how much i cared for you and how much i wanted to be with you again..

i will shed my last tears for you tonight hoping that it could washed away everything that keeps me from feeling this way..

can't count how many times i've said goodbye to you..

but tonight, my goodbye isn't because i wanted to go away..

but to look forward and learn to appreciate everything that i have taken for granted for the past years just because i was too blinded of my love for you..

just for tonight, i won't pretend that i'm OK and that i'm not hurting..

but i'll make sure that tomorrow, i will be able to write something far from what i have written tonight..

Papao

I miss you, Papao.

In my busy life, there are moments that my mind will take me to the thoughts of you... Everything in me longs for you.  But i have to bury it all.

Someone have you, already. Somebody owns your heart. And you try everything to make it work.

I just have this song that my heart sings for you.
This one's for you, Papao. You are forever special to me...

Maybe

There I was
Waiting for a chance
Hoping that you'll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love went stronger than before

I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time

CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Cause I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Cause I know he's here to stay
But I know to whom you should belong

I believed what you said to me
We should set each other free
That's how you want it to be
But my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try to open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time

Sigh!

Much of what happened in my life seem like a dream to me now, and like dreams, much is less understood... much is less accepted...

But through it all some things remain the same... for now... for always...

So here I am, lost in thought even after all these months. I go on existing, and to the ire of our common friends, I still love him and miss him with an aching heart and a very open disposition about it.

Hopefully, after some time, those words won't haunt me anymore. But for now, I go on.

Love's a bitch.

Never take anyone for granted! "Even the poorest of the poor know something that you don't.