Friendship and Life

Somewhere between the *procrastination*

and the incessant forwards and the friendships

and the calls/txt messages to each other complaining about 

Boyfriends/Girlfriends and even X's!!

Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends

and the "I miss you's", the "I love you's" and
the "What are we doing tonight's?"

And somewhere between all of the changing and growing...
somewhere between all TRIPS, InuMAN and GiMIks

...And the PRETENDING that we're Happy SomeTiMEs 

Somewhere between all the appointments,

Making plans then breaking plans...

Appearing, Disappearing, then reappearing...

I forgot--I forgot what it was like to cry.  I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy...

And that pretending to be SmArT doesn't make you smart ..

I forgot that you can't just forget the past

in fear of the FUTURE...

I forgot that you can't control falling in LoVe..
And that you can't make yourself fall in *LoVe*.... I learned that I can LOVE...

I learned that it's okay to MEsS UP....
And it's okay to ask for HELP..

And it's okay to feel like crap...

I learned it's okay to cOmPLaiN

and wHINe to all your friends for a whole day........
I learned that sometimes the things you want most,
you just can't have

and the things that you look for are right in front of you.I learned that the greatest thing

about LIFE and the working worldit isn't about the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the Hookups...

 

It's the *FrIeNdShIpS*
which means taking chances...
I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about...
I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things...
I learned that just when you think it can't get worse - it does! ...
but with the love and support of friends - you survive...
I've learned that when you start feeling BaD 
about L O S I N G touch and about those that you've lost!
They too, are feeling the same way....

I learned that letters from friends

are the most important things.

And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better!

But, basically, I just learned that my friends........

Both old and new.....

are the most important people to me in the world AND.......

without them, I wouldn't  be who
I am today... 

So this is a THANK YOU 
to all of my friends...

For a year full of Joy, Laughters and HOPE...
and most especially ...

For always being there...

I Choose To Be Happy

I choose to be happy...
And all the attachments I have with this world of ours, maybe of no-sense at all.

I choose to reflect on the attachments of my physical body to my spiritual soul and heart.
And I want happiness to stay in my heart forever.

For I refuse to be lonely.
Even if everybody seems to come and go, I will always have a piece of him inside me.
And I have this weird feeling that everything happens for a reason. Even the loneliest of events happens for a very good reason. I choose to believe.

For I choose to be happy.
I will never ever dwell on my past mistakes but rather learn and go on. For I've loved and lost, lived and learned. But still, I won't give up. For I refuse to be lonely. And though I cry today, I refuse to cry forever. For my soul wasn't meant to be lonely.

I maybe alone at the moment, but not for long. This I know. And somebody may come again and destined to leave anyway. I wouldn't care. For the fact of the matter is, I will keep myself intact.  He will never leave with the whole of me. But I will celebrate the emotions I felt, for I am human.

And I refuse to be lonely. And I detach from it all for it is a hateful world. But I refuse to hate. Love is what I should feel for every molecule and every particle in this universe.

And I maybe senseless. I am meaningless. But I refuse to make myself trivial, for I am significant. These words have no meaning. No sense, no direction. And though my refusal is futile, I will never give up.

I choose to be happy.

Lights - Ellie Gouldings

This song goes to the one who came to love this as well, who became special to me after being with him for quite sometime...

I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I'm not sleeping now, the dark is too hard to beat
And I'm not keeping now, the strength I need to push me

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home

Noises, I play within my head
Touch my own skin and hope that I'm still breathing
And I think back to when my brother and my sister slept
In an unlocked place the only time I feel safe

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home

Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights, lights, lights
(Home, home)
Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home

(Home, home )
Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights, lights, lights
(Home, home)
Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights, lights, lights

Under The Same Rain

You're back to catching raindrops again. To each one a name, and there is one you are dying to find, but how? For each one is a possibility, a chance dividing infinitely in all directions every second.Running barefoot, it doesn't matter, nobody can see you. Cry, only to find out it won't matter, either, the rain will drown your tears anyway. Release your pain in one solid cry and it won't matter still, the wind will only eat up your screams. Run barefoot and it won't matter at all - your soul is on its knees.

Run for cover and light a cigarette - now that's refuge. You can rest for a few minutes before you start running alone again.

But I have been here all these times.

This shouldn't have been your life, if only you allowed me to hold you one last time.

To each one a name, each one a possibility, another chance, but you cannot see that, never. For I have been always a few steps behind, following, dying with you every step of the way. If only you'd look back.

******

I'm back to catching raindrops again. To each one a name, but your name I can't seem to find. How could I? You are just a name, a face, a single drop among all others, and the possibility divides infinitely in every direction, every second.

I run barefoot, but it doesn't matter, for nobody can see me. I cry only to find out I cry alone, and it won't matter if the sky will cry with me; it can only cry this much, never enough to comfort me. I shout in pain and it won't matter even, because I can't hear myself as the wind carries away my voice almost instantly. And the cold it brings I can't even feel, for I am colder inside. I run alone, because there is no reason to stay in one place. It is raining.

But... have you been there all these times?

This shouldn't have been my life, chasing raindrops forever, if only you tried to hold on to me tighter, even for that one last time...

Chasing raindrops, to each a name, a chance, so elusive I can never find it. I can never see you. I am as blind as my heart, and being blind I can only face forward, forever forward, no sense looking back. Have you always been a few steps behind, following? I cannot know it, never. If only you'd reach for me and call my name.

******

They used to be so fascinated with rain. This used to be the music of their dance as they trot along hand in hand, going wild when nobody was looking. Now the music has died, but the rain is still there, black and as thick as oil - but they still dance, one following the other every time. They are tired of playing this game, but they can never stop. This is their life. And in their world, it rains everyday.