Sunday, October 31, 2010
Mensahe
Magda-dalawang taon nang nasa inbox ng cellphone ko ang mga mensahe mo. Hindi ko binura at wala akong balak na burahin. Binabasa ko iyon tuwing hinahanap-hanap kita. Hanggang sa sandaling ito, inaasam ko na muli akong makatatanggap ng mensahe mula sa iyo…
Paano kung Paggising ko, Mahal pa rin Kita?
Paano kung paggising ko,
mahal pa rin kita?
Kung ang mga nilimot na halik
Ay isa-isang magtampisaw
sa manhid ko nang alaala?
Paano kung sa magdamag
na pagtulog ang kinahimbingang
anino’y ikaw pa rin?
Paano kung ang sagot
sa mapangutyang ginaw
ng madaling araw
ay ang alaala
ng yakap mong
hindi na akin?
Paano kung ang hatinggabi’y
palilipasin pa rin
sa paglimot
at pagsilip sa sikat ng araw
mula sa aking silid?
Kung ang halinghing ng hangin
ay bubulong ng
pangalan mong
di na rin kailanman bibigkasin …
Kung ang kakapain pa ri’y
kung saan muling maririnig
ang iyong tinig …
Kung paggising ko
mahal pa rin kita,
tulog akong magluluksa
sa puso kong
nalimutang muli
ang magmahal ng sariling pagka
Ilang beses na akong umayaw.
Paulit-ulit na nilasing ang
Sarili sa mga usok at ingay,
sa mga salitang sinulat sa
naglalahong guhit ng papel.
Pagkat ang paglaya
sa pagsasama nating
kay tamis - kay pait
Ay pagbitiw sa kadena
ng iyong pagkalinga.
Ilang libong hakbang na ang
nilakad papalayo sa iyo
nagpupumilit na di na lumingon
na di na rin tumingin,
na hindi na makaramdam.
Kung paggising ko,
mahal pa rin kita
Mag-aalay ako ng balde-baldeng luha
(sindami ng iniyak ko sa nagdaang paglaya)
Pagkat gabi pa rin ang gabi
kung ikaw pa rin ang iibigin
Hindi pa marahil nagbubukangliwayway.
Hihintayin ko ang tilaok ng manok
Upang magising sa isang mapaglarong
bangungot.
Kung paggising ko’y
mahal pa rin kita,
babalikan ko ang
mga panaginip
at papatayin ang
alaala.
mahal pa rin kita?
Kung ang mga nilimot na halik
Ay isa-isang magtampisaw
sa manhid ko nang alaala?
Paano kung sa magdamag
na pagtulog ang kinahimbingang
anino’y ikaw pa rin?
Paano kung ang sagot
sa mapangutyang ginaw
ng madaling araw
ay ang alaala
ng yakap mong
hindi na akin?
Paano kung ang hatinggabi’y
palilipasin pa rin
sa paglimot
at pagsilip sa sikat ng araw
mula sa aking silid?
Kung ang halinghing ng hangin
ay bubulong ng
pangalan mong
di na rin kailanman bibigkasin …
Kung ang kakapain pa ri’y
kung saan muling maririnig
ang iyong tinig …
Kung paggising ko
mahal pa rin kita,
tulog akong magluluksa
sa puso kong
nalimutang muli
ang magmahal ng sariling pagka
Ilang beses na akong umayaw.
Paulit-ulit na nilasing ang
Sarili sa mga usok at ingay,
sa mga salitang sinulat sa
naglalahong guhit ng papel.
Pagkat ang paglaya
sa pagsasama nating
kay tamis - kay pait
Ay pagbitiw sa kadena
ng iyong pagkalinga.
Ilang libong hakbang na ang
nilakad papalayo sa iyo
nagpupumilit na di na lumingon
na di na rin tumingin,
na hindi na makaramdam.
Kung paggising ko,
mahal pa rin kita
Mag-aalay ako ng balde-baldeng luha
(sindami ng iniyak ko sa nagdaang paglaya)
Pagkat gabi pa rin ang gabi
kung ikaw pa rin ang iibigin
Hindi pa marahil nagbubukangliwayway.
Hihintayin ko ang tilaok ng manok
Upang magising sa isang mapaglarong
bangungot.
Kung paggising ko’y
mahal pa rin kita,
babalikan ko ang
mga panaginip
at papatayin ang
alaala.
The Final Day
If God will ask me how much I love you, I would tell Him ten million times than what its worth. I love you not because I feel it is right, but because I like what I feel and nothing else.
Sometimes you asked if I regretted the day I met you. I said NO. But today is the day that I feared the most, because if you will ask me again, I know I would say YES. Of all the things that I have, it is your memories that I want to bury.
I know that what I am doing is right. Yes it is so right to get you out of my life. I should not believe on the friendship that you promised. I am such a fool to hold on to that. You choose to hurt me.
There are times that I need your presence, yet you were not there. I know that you know, yet you choose to ignore me. Now, I reckon that you will never be there for me. I should have known, because right from the start, you already left me.
I throw all your lies that I once believed. When you said that I was important to you and that you could not stand without me, those were all LIES. Maybe you were just forced to do it or you just did it to give me false hope. Now, all the words that you said were worthless. It’s because you are worthless to me.
I don’t mind anymore if you really liked me. What is important is I loved, and I gave everything without asking in return. Despite of that, you taught me to be strong. I learn to stop chasing and crying to someone who is worthless like you.
Maybe you destroyed almost everything in me. You took my dignity, my courage and my faith, even my life. But I can stand-up and regain them again. I can move-on and live without you. This is still me. It’s only the time and days that are changed.
Now is the last time that I am saying this. The last chance that I will think of you. All the things that happened are all gone. Even my life is already new. Now is the last time that I love you. The last time for everything, for you to know how much you hurt me. Everything is over. This is the last day that I suffer. It’s done, it’s all over. But on this final day, I am sure of one thing,
That this is not the last day that I am going to say this.
This is one of the articles i wrote for the local school paper which was published recently. For Papao...
Sometimes you asked if I regretted the day I met you. I said NO. But today is the day that I feared the most, because if you will ask me again, I know I would say YES. Of all the things that I have, it is your memories that I want to bury.
I know that what I am doing is right. Yes it is so right to get you out of my life. I should not believe on the friendship that you promised. I am such a fool to hold on to that. You choose to hurt me.
There are times that I need your presence, yet you were not there. I know that you know, yet you choose to ignore me. Now, I reckon that you will never be there for me. I should have known, because right from the start, you already left me.
I throw all your lies that I once believed. When you said that I was important to you and that you could not stand without me, those were all LIES. Maybe you were just forced to do it or you just did it to give me false hope. Now, all the words that you said were worthless. It’s because you are worthless to me.
I don’t mind anymore if you really liked me. What is important is I loved, and I gave everything without asking in return. Despite of that, you taught me to be strong. I learn to stop chasing and crying to someone who is worthless like you.
Maybe you destroyed almost everything in me. You took my dignity, my courage and my faith, even my life. But I can stand-up and regain them again. I can move-on and live without you. This is still me. It’s only the time and days that are changed.
Now is the last time that I am saying this. The last chance that I will think of you. All the things that happened are all gone. Even my life is already new. Now is the last time that I love you. The last time for everything, for you to know how much you hurt me. Everything is over. This is the last day that I suffer. It’s done, it’s all over. But on this final day, I am sure of one thing,
That this is not the last day that I am going to say this.
This is one of the articles i wrote for the local school paper which was published recently. For Papao...
He's Out Of My Life
He is out of my life. He was, for a long time already but his memories still haunt me. And no matter what I do, I can't get him out of me. Everything in him is implanted in my mind, my body and my soul...
He's out of my life
He's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life
It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think the two years he was here
And I took him for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
He's out of my hands
So I've learned that loves not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late
And he's out of my life
He's out of my life
Damned in decision and cursed pride
I kept my love for him locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life
Whatever happened to the US, i will wish for the day that you'll come back. Hopefully, it's love will lead you back to me... I miss you, Papao!
He's out of my life
He's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life
It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think the two years he was here
And I took him for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
He's out of my hands
So I've learned that loves not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late
And he's out of my life
He's out of my life
Damned in decision and cursed pride
I kept my love for him locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life
Whatever happened to the US, i will wish for the day that you'll come back. Hopefully, it's love will lead you back to me... I miss you, Papao!
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