Friendship and Life

Somewhere between the *procrastination*

and the incessant forwards and the friendships

and the calls/txt messages to each other complaining about 

Boyfriends/Girlfriends and even X's!!

Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends

and the "I miss you's", the "I love you's" and
the "What are we doing tonight's?"

And somewhere between all of the changing and growing...
somewhere between all TRIPS, InuMAN and GiMIks

...And the PRETENDING that we're Happy SomeTiMEs 

Somewhere between all the appointments,

Making plans then breaking plans...

Appearing, Disappearing, then reappearing...

I forgot--I forgot what it was like to cry.  I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy...

And that pretending to be SmArT doesn't make you smart ..

I forgot that you can't just forget the past

in fear of the FUTURE...

I forgot that you can't control falling in LoVe..
And that you can't make yourself fall in *LoVe*.... I learned that I can LOVE...

I learned that it's okay to MEsS UP....
And it's okay to ask for HELP..

And it's okay to feel like crap...

I learned it's okay to cOmPLaiN

and wHINe to all your friends for a whole day........
I learned that sometimes the things you want most,
you just can't have

and the things that you look for are right in front of you.I learned that the greatest thing

about LIFE and the working worldit isn't about the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the Hookups...

 

It's the *FrIeNdShIpS*
which means taking chances...
I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about...
I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things...
I learned that just when you think it can't get worse - it does! ...
but with the love and support of friends - you survive...
I've learned that when you start feeling BaD 
about L O S I N G touch and about those that you've lost!
They too, are feeling the same way....

I learned that letters from friends

are the most important things.

And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better!

But, basically, I just learned that my friends........

Both old and new.....

are the most important people to me in the world AND.......

without them, I wouldn't  be who
I am today... 

So this is a THANK YOU 
to all of my friends...

For a year full of Joy, Laughters and HOPE...
and most especially ...

For always being there...

I Choose To Be Happy

I choose to be happy...
And all the attachments I have with this world of ours, maybe of no-sense at all.

I choose to reflect on the attachments of my physical body to my spiritual soul and heart.
And I want happiness to stay in my heart forever.

For I refuse to be lonely.
Even if everybody seems to come and go, I will always have a piece of him inside me.
And I have this weird feeling that everything happens for a reason. Even the loneliest of events happens for a very good reason. I choose to believe.

For I choose to be happy.
I will never ever dwell on my past mistakes but rather learn and go on. For I've loved and lost, lived and learned. But still, I won't give up. For I refuse to be lonely. And though I cry today, I refuse to cry forever. For my soul wasn't meant to be lonely.

I maybe alone at the moment, but not for long. This I know. And somebody may come again and destined to leave anyway. I wouldn't care. For the fact of the matter is, I will keep myself intact.  He will never leave with the whole of me. But I will celebrate the emotions I felt, for I am human.

And I refuse to be lonely. And I detach from it all for it is a hateful world. But I refuse to hate. Love is what I should feel for every molecule and every particle in this universe.

And I maybe senseless. I am meaningless. But I refuse to make myself trivial, for I am significant. These words have no meaning. No sense, no direction. And though my refusal is futile, I will never give up.

I choose to be happy.

Lights - Ellie Gouldings

This song goes to the one who came to love this as well, who became special to me after being with him for quite sometime...

I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I'm not sleeping now, the dark is too hard to beat
And I'm not keeping now, the strength I need to push me

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home

Noises, I play within my head
Touch my own skin and hope that I'm still breathing
And I think back to when my brother and my sister slept
In an unlocked place the only time I feel safe

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home

Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights, lights, lights
(Home, home)
Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home

(Home, home )
Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights, lights, lights
(Home, home)
Lights, lights, lights, lights
Lights, lights, lights, lights

Under The Same Rain

You're back to catching raindrops again. To each one a name, and there is one you are dying to find, but how? For each one is a possibility, a chance dividing infinitely in all directions every second.Running barefoot, it doesn't matter, nobody can see you. Cry, only to find out it won't matter, either, the rain will drown your tears anyway. Release your pain in one solid cry and it won't matter still, the wind will only eat up your screams. Run barefoot and it won't matter at all - your soul is on its knees.

Run for cover and light a cigarette - now that's refuge. You can rest for a few minutes before you start running alone again.

But I have been here all these times.

This shouldn't have been your life, if only you allowed me to hold you one last time.

To each one a name, each one a possibility, another chance, but you cannot see that, never. For I have been always a few steps behind, following, dying with you every step of the way. If only you'd look back.

******

I'm back to catching raindrops again. To each one a name, but your name I can't seem to find. How could I? You are just a name, a face, a single drop among all others, and the possibility divides infinitely in every direction, every second.

I run barefoot, but it doesn't matter, for nobody can see me. I cry only to find out I cry alone, and it won't matter if the sky will cry with me; it can only cry this much, never enough to comfort me. I shout in pain and it won't matter even, because I can't hear myself as the wind carries away my voice almost instantly. And the cold it brings I can't even feel, for I am colder inside. I run alone, because there is no reason to stay in one place. It is raining.

But... have you been there all these times?

This shouldn't have been my life, chasing raindrops forever, if only you tried to hold on to me tighter, even for that one last time...

Chasing raindrops, to each a name, a chance, so elusive I can never find it. I can never see you. I am as blind as my heart, and being blind I can only face forward, forever forward, no sense looking back. Have you always been a few steps behind, following? I cannot know it, never. If only you'd reach for me and call my name.

******

They used to be so fascinated with rain. This used to be the music of their dance as they trot along hand in hand, going wild when nobody was looking. Now the music has died, but the rain is still there, black and as thick as oil - but they still dance, one following the other every time. They are tired of playing this game, but they can never stop. This is their life. And in their world, it rains everyday.

Rain, Memories and You

"It’s been awhile since I walked and bathed in the rain. I miss the innocence it brings…the smell of damp earth in the air and the sensuous feel of raindrops on my skin…it made me feel like a child again. The rain is my gateway to funfilled child memories. And now the rain branded you…and the kiss we shared along the avenue. I’m looking forward to more rainy days with you."

Yes. The rain branded you. The once simple, meaningless drizzle now whispers your name and the raindrops embraces me like you did as it wets me and consumes my warmth.

Indeed, it's not the years that proves how deep the relationship is. It's about the smile that radiates in each lover's face each time they're together that seem to brighten up their day. It's about the essence of every moment that the couple is sharing--whether it may be shared on a romantic evening or scorching mid-day sun, may it be shared simply or lavishly, in a plush restaurant or a simple park bench, in private or in a gathering--any way, anytime, anywhere doesn't really matter except the fact that they're together. It's about the depth of that LOVE they are sharing that knows no boundaries, no limitations, no questions, and no if's and but's. It's what they have that makes this happen and it's all they really need.

You're no longer  here now. No longer here to share with me those walks, those romantic interludes, the rain. But the rain now signifies all that you were, all that we shared, all that we had. It may not have counted years but so long as there are raindrops, the memories will not end...the Love will not fade...you will not be forgotten.

Can I still wish for more rainy days with you? Maybe. With or without you, every raindrop will bring everything back...it will bring YOU back...and will hide what wasn't there before--these tears.

"Maybe I can't stop the downpour, but I will always join you for a walk in the rain." ~ Unknown

Can I???

Can I tell my heart to miss a beat
Or make my world to cease from turning...
Can I tell the heavens to vow down
Or tell the day to stop from dawning?


Can I tell FATE to speak out your name
And the wind to tell you, "I love you!"...
Can I tell your heart to beat for me
And to feel the same way that I do?


Can I tell myself to stop dreamin'
And face reality as it is...
Can I just turn my back from hoping
And put my weary heart at ease?



POEMS were weaved not from a poet's mind
Neither do SONGS from them lyricists...
It all sprung from what exist within
Such inspiration one's heart consists.


Can I really speak of what I feel
Or even explain it why I do...
'Guess I leave it all to you , my friend
'Cause I think I've fallen hard for YOU!!!

On Love and Being In Love

“We’re students of love, in and out of classes, go for the ride until it crashes. Ive been through enough to have learned my lessons, from puppy love throughout my adolescence, we’re friends and enemies, the same identity, you’re a source of strength but a waste of energy. We play that game that some aren’t built for, feel that pain that some would kill for.” — Dumbfounded - Love Psycle

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the first surrender; because this kiss has within it that surrenders.” — Tom Robbins

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.” — Elie Wiesel

“In my whole life, no one has ever looked at me the way that you do. No one has ever, touched my face or brushed my hair out of my eyes like you do. And maybe this is really selfish but, it’s not just you I’m going to miss. It’s the way I feel when I’m with you that I’m going to miss even more.” — Shelby Merrick, “Higher Ground”

“The hand held by a friend when you really need someone, inspires me. The money we give and the time we give to help someone else, inspires me. Even though their is a lot of hate in the world today, there is still so much love that keeps the world going, all of which inspires me. Look around you. What inspires you in your everyday life?” — Aubrey Wright


“True love waits, but not just for sex. It waits for the right time to commit to God’s brand of love—unwavering, unflagging, and totally committed.” — Joshua Harris

“But even if real men are hard to find, they do exist, and they are worth waiting for. So don’t get discouraged on your journey toward inward excellence. To real men, your purity is beautiful, and it will be highly esteemed someday.” — When God Writes Your Love Story

“But even if real men are hard to find, they do exist, and they are worth waiting for. So don’t get discouraged on your journey toward inward excellence. To real men, your purity is beautiful, and it will be highly esteemed someday.” — When God Writes Your Love Story

“Think of the one person you can be yourself with. Someone who has seen you at your absolute worst yet still believes in your absolute best. The one person you can spend hours with — either in conversation or in silence. This person has seen you through the most horrible days of your life: the day that boy broke your heart, when you failed the big exam, after the huge fight you had with your mom. For all these reasons (and more), it must be said that there is no one on the planet who deserves to feel more loved than the person who has promised (and proven) to be with you through hell or high water.” — Happy Valentine’s Day

“Be careful in falling in love too deeply. You should always leave a little love for yourself. Because when your heart gets broken, you still have that pinch of love left inside of you for you to heal and nurture for it to grow better.”

“Be careful of love. It’ll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong.” — Hephaestus


from Miyabe Tayo

For the Record

I care for you. I wanna take care of you... 1818

maybe.. then.. again..

i will just trick my mind that i don't miss you at all and i will just pretend that nothing happened... let's just say, i will just accept that we were never really meant for each other...

maybe it will ease the pain...
maybe it will numb the feeling...
maybe it will numb the pain...

maybe then i can move on...
maybe then i can start living again...

maybe then...
again...

so we can begin again...