Adios

This time, I don't want to bargain anymore. I hate myself for remembering and again falling stupidly to such wonderful eyes. I've been through hell since he walked away. Not knowing what I have done wrong, asking myself question which up to now remains unanswered. I grew tired of searching and waiting. Maybe I got used to the pain and my tear ducts has dried up. I was numbed. I have learned to close my eyes to hide the pain, not to see more of what might add to the injury. I learned to be deaf of the sound of his voice. I maybe hearing the sound but not listening to what he has to say. I became mute. I know I have so much to say yet I produce not even a single word when I speak. I was hurt, I got numbed but I moved on.

Time moves every second as the earth moves on its axis. Time passes by so fast that when you have learned to cope to the disasters in your life you’ll never notice how much you have changed and how far you have traveled.

Right now, I wake up every morning greeting the sun as it rises. Thanking God for another beautiful day. I may have lost someone special yet I gained more than I imagined. The strength, lessons and maturity is far greater than the pain he gave me. Rather than blame him and torture myself, I’ll even say, “Thank you for the brief time we have shared. You are like a wind which swiftly felt by my world and in reality were never bound to stay.”

Just Give Me A Reason

Pink ft. Nate Ruess

Right from the start

You were a thief

You stole my heart

And I your willing victim

I let you see the parts of me

That weren't all that pretty

And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh

Things you never say to me oh oh

Tell me that you've had enough

Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

We're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand

Where all of this is coming from

I thought that we were fine

(Oh we had everything)

Your head is running wild again

My dear we still have everythin'

And it's all in your mind

(Yeah but this is happenin')

You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh

You used to lie so close to me oh oh

There's nothing more than empty sheets

Between our love, our love

Oh our love, our love

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

I'll never stop

You're still written in the scars on my heart

You're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust

I'll fix it for us

We're collecting dust

But our love's enough

You're holding it in

You're pouring a drink

No nothing is as bad as it seems

We'll come clean

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

That we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

That we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again

Oh oh, that we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Away...

Out of the darkness comes the dawn
The sun rises
The air becomes warm
Light gradually slips its way out of the dark
It uncovers the beauty of its surroundings
Which is hidden in the overcast
It brightens everything on its way
In order for the unseen to be seen
But the brightness is temporary
It ends when the sun sets
The sun hides to give way to dusk
Again, the surroundings is enveloped in darkness
The air becomes cold
The atmosphere becomes silent
The living rests to gain what was lost.

Ikaw Pa Rin Kahit Sakali

Kahit ibigay pa sa akin ng Diyos ang isang perpektong tao, mas pipiliin ko pa rin yung mahal ko. 'Yan ang sabi ko sa 'yo nung minsang napag- usapan natin ang mga love life natin. Pareho tayo ng pag-iisip sa bagay na ito. Pareho tayong naniniwala na meron ngang tao na nilaan para lang sa atin.

Dati, akala ko ikaw na 'yon. Ngayon ko lang naiisip na baka nga hindi talaga tayo para sa isa’t isa. Kung aalalahanin ko lahat ng dinaanan ko dahil sa iyo, mapapabuntung-hininga na lang ako. Sabi ko nga, mahirap maging kaibigan mo, pero mas mahirap na mahalin ka at maging kaibigan mo lang. Bilang kaibigan, kailangan kong ipakita ang suporta ko sa lahat ng gusto mong gawin. Kailangan ipakita ko na masaya ako tuwing masaya ka. Kailangan ipakita ko na natutuwa ako sa mga kakiligan mo kapag kasama mo siya. Kailangan nakangiti ako kahit malungkot ako. Lahat nang ito ginagawa ko dahil gusto kong malaman mo na tunay akong kaibigan. At dahil mahal kita. 

Kung pwede nga hindi na ako magpapakita sa'yo para lang hindi ako masaktan. Pero mahal kita. Para sa akin, ito lang ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako umaalis sa tabi mo. Para sa akin, ito lang ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa sa 'yo. Pero ngayong napapaisip ako, hindi lang naman kalungkutan ang dinala mo sa akin. Ang ganda rin pala ng pagkakaibigan natin. 

May mga araw na kapag magkasama tayo, tawa lang tayo ng tawa. Siguro weirdo talaga tayo pareho, magka- wavelength. May mga araw naman na sobrang seryoso ng usapan. Tungkol sa mga problema sa pamilya, mga prinsipyo sa buhay at mga pangarap na gusto nating abutin. Pero may mga araw rin na wala kang kakwenta-kwentang kausap. Yun yung mga beses na kahit tahimik lang, ok na para sa atin. Kapag kasama kita, sobrang kumportable ako. 

Kaya kong maging ako tuwing kasama kita. Kaya kong sabihin lahat-lahat at ipakita ang buong pagkatao ko sa yo dahil alam kong tatanggapin mo pa rin ako bilang kaibigan. Ito ang hindi ko nakita noon. Dahil sa pagkabulag ko sa pagmamahal ko sa 'yo, isinumpa ko ang pagkakaibigan natin. Lagi kong naiisip na kaibigan lang kita. Hindi ako nagpasalamat sa pagkakaibigan natin. Ngayon lang ako natutuwa na kahit papaano, kaibigan kita. 

Masaya ako na dumating ka sa buhay ko, kahit para maging kaibigan ko lang. Isa ka sa mga biyaya na ibinigay sa akin at nagpapasalamat ako dahil dito. Masaya ako dahil kaibigan kita at dahil namamamahal kita ng ganito. Siguro nga hanggang dito na lang ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo. Hanggang kaibigan na lang. 

Kahit ibigay pa sa kin ng Diyos ang isang perpektong tao, mas pipiliin ko pa rin yung mahal ko. 'Yan ang sabi ko sa iyo. Sabi ko sa iyo mas pipiliin pa rin kita. Na kahit sino pang mas gwapo, mas matalino, mas mabait, o mas may prinsipyo pa ang dumating sa buhay ko, ikaw pa rin. Kung gugustuhin mo lang, ikaw pa rin. Ikaw pa rin. 'Yan ang sabi ko sa iyo. Bingi ka lang. Manhid pa. Siguro nga hindi talaga tayo para sa isa’t isa.(peyups)

From the Heart Heartbreaker Broke

For him who I can't mention anymore... :'(

You can only miss a person so much...

I think my time's over. Dawn breaks; 

Its time for the moon to return to its proper place and let the sun shine once again in you life.

I choose to love you in silence... 

For in silence I recieve no rejection 

Nor should I bother of what it is that prevents us from being together  

- its just that we can never be together.

I choose to love you in loneliness... 

For in loneliness, no one owns you but I.

I choose to adore you from a distance... 

For distance will shield us from pain.

Still, I love you and I just can't help but do so...

I choose to kiss you in the wind,

For the wind is gentler than my lips

I choose to hold you in my dreams...

For in my dreams, you have no end. 

Forever.

That is what you are to me. 

In all honesty, I find it hard to believe that I will ever love somebody the same way I loved you.

Thanks for the experience, I loved it while it lasted. I can't help but smile during those times that you threw me out of focus - those times that you made me panic as to what I could do just to appease your tumultuous heart.

Thanks for those times that you almost destroyed my sanity. I always knew it was done for anyway.

Thanks for all the times you smiled back, made those funny faces, commented on things, and wasted your free text messages on me. Thanks for all the phone calls, all the emails, and all the small things that you did. Without them, I may have not even been sure that I really loved you.

And most of all, thanks for being honest. Thank you for putting me back on track. You would be a constant reminder for me not to love anyone more than my God.

Maybe you were right:

Love is an attachment... to someone who'll never be yours. 

Love is something we will never have... something we'll never experience

And I really meant my reply.

The sun maybe up, but the moon does not vanish. It may wane, yes, it may even seem to fade. But one thing is certain. It remains in its sky...

- from peyups.com

Day by day I am taking a step away from you. I don’t want to do this but I believe that I have to. I seem to be blinded when I am close to you. I have to keep my distance to see clearly, to see the bigger picture.

Since the time that I decided to let go, realization keeps pouring. I am happy that I am still this complete person even with your absence. I am still living and able to enjoy every moment without feeling a void.

I still miss you.:'(

Farewell

You were my sunshine, you were my star. The only one who made me transcend the limitation of human capacity for loving. You said I was your moon, the only one who gave light to your starless sky. You professed your boundless affection: I accepted it with all my heart.

You gave me your world, I gave you my galaxy. You made me have faith in every word that you say. But why was it that when there was nothing left for me anymore, you started taking everything back. You murdered my defenseless heart; you killed me softly with your lies. I would have chosen to die a tragic death, than to slowly watch myself shatter down into pieces because of all the hurt you’ve caused my soul whose only transgression is to have sworn to indisputably
and irrevocably be devoted to you.

I hated you for making me fall desperately in love you. But I hated myself more for having believed in your lies. I hated myself for letting you devastate my once peaceful existence.

And so this will be the last day that I will rant about my ridiculous love for you. This will be the last time that I will think of you. This will be the day that I will finally move on. This will be the day that I will bid goodbye to all our memories.

Goodbye to your smile that once made my melancholies turn into bliss.
Goodbye to your arms that once made my coldest nights turn warm and cozy.
Goodbye to your eyes that once gazed at me like I was the most dazzling moon there ever was in the sky.
Goodbye to your lips that once made me believe that I was the only one… And to you, my star, my only love, I bid my last goodbye.